Because Good is Dumb!
"How's the weather?" I ask.
"It's wet and cold and going to get colder." She tells me.
"Just like my life." I quip.
"Your life is wet?" She inquires with eyebrow raised.
I shuffle my feet, unsure how to broach the truth, "I've been trying out a new variety of Unmitigated Evil, and it makes a helluva mess."
An exasperated sigh, "Have the minions clean it up, duh!"
"My minions quit. They went to work for some other Earthbound Incarnation of Evil. I'm told he has a stylish mask, snappy uniforms and a flying fortress. Apparently, his Evil Gig [TM] is just sexier than mine."
"Wow, whatever happened to loyalty?"
She put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder, "At least you still have a musty basement full of unspeakable abominations."
"And that will have to be enough, won't it?"
Such is the day to day of my life.