The Last Temptation of Pop

In an earlier post I mentioned the Super Bowl commercial for which I will one day win universal acclaim from the people that aren't threatening to kill me. Were I to be allowed to make said Super Bowl commercial, this is the follow-up commercial that I would then want to air during the Oscars.

Picture this; You're in the Desert of Bethsaida. Jesus, surrounded by his flock of five-thousand, turns the bread into Dorito's and the water into Pepsi. All of his followers bow down before him, chanting, "Lamb of our Lord, bread to Dorito's, water to Pepsi."

From over the next rise in the desert we hear the distinct "CRACK!" of a soda can opening.

The flock all rise and turn, their eyes brimming with curiosity. The shamble with trepidation up and over the rise and there, in all his glory, riding boots shining, hair coiffed, black guitar slung over his back, is a young Elvis Presley ... and he's drinking a Coke.

He drinks the can of Coke in huge, thirsty gulps. Lowers the can and glares at the recently assembled flock. They stare slack-jawed at him and then, a few at first, followed by the rest, they bow down in awe.

Title, in a bold font: "CHOOSE YOUR KING"

Following the winning of my second Cleo, I will spend the rest of my natural life taking travel hints from Julian Assange.


Anonymous said...

Yes! Ha, ha. Glorious!

Tom Harper said...

I'm in the camp with Elvis and Coke.