Fuck All!

That's something that I say a lot, my personal catch phrase, "Fuck All." I'm concerned that I have not effectively communicated the depth of the maxim. It seems this has been taken as a throw away statement, an empty signifier meant to communicate apathy. This is not so. Allow me to elaborate.

George Bush, fuck him. Fuck the Republican party, which is poor name for a group so dedicated to the erosion of the republic. Fuck the Democrats, too, but not as hard because, even though they’re every bit the bunch of shmucks the Red Dogs are, at least they mean well. Fuck politics, the people, the process and the pretense of power.

Fuck relationships. Fuck chocolates and flowers, cuddles, smiles and mock joy. Fuck PDA. Fuck the very idea that somehow we need someone else in order to be complete and fuck the fact that nobody realizes how dysfunctional that is. Fuck everyone that has ever said "I Love You," and not meant it. Fuck everyone who has ever cheated and everyone who has ever been cheated upon and not had the balls to walk away. Fuck anyone that has ever used sex to get something they didn't deserve and double fuck anyone that fell for it. I'm okay with half of all marriages ending in divorce but fuck the other half that end in death.

Fuck working and slaving at serving and cleaning up after ungrateful fucks that think a fat wallet counts for something other than compensation for a tiny cock. Fuck people that don't say thank you and fuck anyone that doesn't think before they speak. Fuck the rat race and the lie of a better life than our parents had. Fuck your boss who's only getting what he's getting because he pays you less than you're worth.

fuck punctuation?

Fuck body image and fashion and pop culture. Fuck the here and now. Fuck popularity and ten thousand - thousand ideas and ideals of how someone should be. Fuck rock hard abs and platinum blonde hair. I think I'm going to eat chocolate and fried cheese until I break out like a herpes grenade on my chin and forehead just so that I'll have an excuse not to fall in line with Carson fucking Daley, the guy on Queer Eye. Oh, wait, fuck me, that's a different Carson so fuck everyone named Carson because it's a stupid fucking name. Fuck cultural literacy and fuck everyone that wants to sell my own rebellion back to me. Fuck the colors for the season but don't fuck runway models, it's too gratifying to feel the knobby bones of their pelvis through their emaciated flesh, besides it's not good for their hunger addled minds. Fuck a sandwich and then feed it to them. Fuck The Swan and Extreme Makeover; fuck self help books and personal empowerment and anyone or anything that tries to instruct someone else on how to be.

The Guy in L5P that wears the Chinese cap and rides the dilapidated bicycle, definitely fuck him. Fuck him with something sharp. While we're on the topic of people in lil'5, fuck that ugly, foul smelling wench that has asked me for change every week for the two years I've been living here and then gets bitchy at me when I say no. "But I need help!" she says. "You need more help than I'm gonna give you now sod of and fucking die.”

Fuck Elisha Cuthbert, if only I could.

Fuck intellectualism. Throw it down on the hood of Dale Earnheart's car and fuck intellectualism senseless; it needs a good shagging. Fuck DeSassure and Marx. Fuck criticism. Fuck theories of all kind. I have a theory for you; theories suck. Fuck Mulvey, Heidegger, Lacan, Nietzsche, Rand, Descartes, Spinoza, Malebranche, Pascal, Locke, Leibniz, Berkeley, and Hume. Fuck Einstein, Hawking, Durkheim, Darwin, Sagan, Burke, Newton, Franklin, Dr. Mengela and fuck Jesus, too, just to make sure I've covered everyone, covered them in the steaming semen of my disdain.

Fuck anger and fuck frustration. Fuck disenfranchisement and fuck your contempt at my contempt. Fuck a world that never realizes that the height of human civilization is only a finger's width from the muck from which we climbed and can just as easily descend back towards.

And you know what, fuck you, too.