I am More Angry than I Have Ever Been.

I'm seething, practically foaming at the mouth. Rage saturates me as if a dragon had exhaled into my veins. I want to spit blood. I want to break something or someone. Pure, unadulterated fury.

I awoke today to find that my car had been broken into.

The window had been smashed and the back seat rifled through. This, unto itself, is troubling but not altogether unexpected. I live in a major urban center, after all. Such things are simply a question of when, not if, they will happen. I've been here for about five years so I suppose I was due.

If they'd stolen my car stereo, I would have understood. If they'd stolen the printer that was in the back seat, I could handle that. If they had stolen the cash out of the glove compartment, that would have made sense. Though, after checking everything, after having the police go over my car, after close examination of everything in the vehicle, it seems they only stole one thing.

They stole my parachute.

Of all the things that someone could have taken, they stole my fucking parachute.

Am I pissed because, unless it's recovered, I'll have to rent gear to jump until I can afford a new rig, a bit, yes. Am I angry because it's the second most expensive thing I own after the car, itself, just a touch. Am I put out because this will hugely slow down my progress in the sport, yeah, somewhat.

But, what really infuritates me is that there is no reason for a common criminal to steal a parachute! They probably don't even know what it is and, even if they do, it has no use-value to anyone but a skydiver. If the thief isn't a jumper, he or she couldn't do anything with it. While rigs are expensive bits of machinery, they're next to impossible to sell if you don't know where to go. Pawn shops won't take them. Sports consignment stores don't deal in them. This person would have to actually know or be a skydiver in order to unload it and, if that skydiver is local go Georgia, they couldn't possibly jump the rig because the first thing you do when gear is stolen is call around all the drop zones and tell them about it.

I see three possibilities:

1. It was stolen by a crackhead or some other local lowlife. They thought it was a backpack and took it thinking they would get whatever was inside. When they tried to open it and realized that it wasn't a bag, they discarded it. I've already checked all the dumpsters for a quarter mile radius on exactly this contingency. I don't like to think about this possibility too much because, in such a case, it is almost certainly gone forever.

2. It was stolen by a crackhead or some other local lowlife. Whether they know what it is or not they're going to try and sell it. I've gone into all the consignment shops and such in the neighborhood pursuing this and I'm going to start calling pawn shops in just a few minutes. The police will also check on this once a police report is generated but that won't be until tuesday.

3. It was stolen by a skydiver who knew exactly what it was. This is the possibility I find most troubling since this would be a serious offense to the skydiving community. Though, if this is the case I'm pretty likely to get it back since the USPA keeps records of stolen gear and they're going to try and jump it or sell it eventually.

So, if you find yourself in the VA Highlands or L5P part of Atlanta and you see someone wearing a black and gray Javelin skydiving rig, beat them to within an inch of their life and then call me to come get the rig. And please don't get any blood on the canopy. It never comes out.

And the worst part, my car was in the parking lot of a church.

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Anonymous said...

oh wow! your anger is most understandable. and in a church parking lot too.

sincerely hope it is found. how else are we going to get your blood pressure back to normal?


Anonymous said...

Maybe if you were in church this would not have happened

Tom Harper said...

That really sucks. Sorry this happened. I've never had a car broken into, but we had a car stolen about 3 years ago. Vanished. Never seen again; not a trace.

Talk about feelings of violation and fury.

renalfailure said...

D.B. Cooper strikes again!

SkyMonkey said...

You said its not a matter of if, its a matter of when. So if you knew it was gonna happen, why would you leave your rig in your car? I feel bad for you, but its kinda your own fault.

waldo said...

My car was broken into the other night while it was raining. The neighbour copped it as well.
They were so stupid they didn't look in my change draw which contained about $40 in change.

A fellow parachutist didn't do your car. The odds are far and away against it and skydivers are motivated people, not car breakers.

I didn't get angry 'til later when I misplaced my car keys.